Midlife is such a tumultuous, poignant, confusing and confronting season.
It is a time of loss: of your role as a hands-on mother; of possibly your partner through death or divorce; of your parents and older family members. Your once perky breasts now orbit your belly-button, your chin has enough stubble to act as sandpaper and your favourite pants all include an elasticised waist band.
Not depressed enough yet?
Then there are the hormones – all running amuck, bringing with them fits of rage, unexplained tears, brain fog, insomnia and hot flushes that make you feel like a nuclear reactor just fired up inside.
You’re reaching for the razor blade about now aren’t you? Better to end it than face the steady decline towards zimmer frames and soft mashed vegetables for dinner every night – right?
WRONG!
While there is no escaping the journey of midlife just as there was no way of escaping the journey of puberty, (and wasn’t THAT a blast? Pimples, awkwardness, angst….such good times!) You can determine NOW that you are going to make the most of every minute of the ride, and milk this season for all it is worth.
This may sound simplistic, but in my years of being an educator, a trainer and a coach, I have seen women fall into two obvious camps. One camp resents what is happening in their lives and their bodies and dread what is to come. The other camp of women may battle cancer, endure loss and find their lives nowhere where they thought they would be by this age – HOWEVER they are vibrant, full of life, determined to impact their world and optimistic for the future.
Some women look old but have a youthful dynamic that wrinkles cannot diminish. Others hit the age of 40, decide that it is all over for them now and cling to their children, resenting the silence that lingers once the family home is empty.
Which camp do you fall into honey?
All women at midlife have fond memories of Christmases past when their children believed in Santa, or family holidays with their parents and siblings – yet if we adopt the attitude of “that’s it. My best years are gone, there is nothing left for me” – then not only are you setting yourself up for potentially forty or more bleak, depressing years, but you are robbing the world of something special: YOU.
NOW is the time in your life where you don’t have to be at the beck and call of a demanding toddler, (unless you are a hands on grandma, but at least you still get to hand them back!)
NOW is the time when you can shake off being only defined as “Amy’s mum” and discover who YOU want to be. Don’t like what you are doing? Change it. Don’t like how you look? Reinvent yourself! The world is still your oyster honey – it is NOT just for our gorgeous daughters. In fact the best thing that you can model to them is evidence that their WHOLE life can be fantastic – not just the first 40 or so years!
It’s all about honouring our past – not forgetting it – but also, not staying stuck in it, and this is equally applicable to those who had a brutal past. It was, but it is no more.
It’s time to fully embrace your now and your future. We know of some of the common hurdles we will face, yet we can determine now to continue on our journey with hearts and souls open to the experiences and people that connect with us. I know that this is my heart – to not just endure, but to ROCK my midlife season – and I hope that it is yours too.
Cat xx
PS: Midlife can be lonely without the friendship of other women who understand your journey, so why not join my FREE facebook group of girls from all over the world? In the ROCKING MIDLIFE group you will find laughter, encouragement and understanding.
Apply to join HERE and I’ll see you on the inside!
