I’ve always been a bit of a people pleaser.
I never made the cool gang at school, yet I would be nice to the mean girls who weren’t nice to me because I desperately WANTED to be liked.
As a musician, even though logically I KNEW that I was a good player – I would still race to my husband as soon as I got off stage with the same question every time: “Did I play okay?” His validation – as was anyone else’s there – was so important to me. Ironic really, given that he and the others in the audience weren’t even actually musicians.
In my workplaces over the years, with my kids’ friends, with all of my clients at the gym – being liked was just as important to me as doing my job well, yet it came with a price.
As any creative person knows, the desire to be liked can cripple your art. You become less brave, less inventive and less daring in case you offend or upset someone. One bad review or one unsubscription from your email list can send you into a tail spin, negating any positive feedback that you may have received (trust me, I had to catch myself on this one just today!)
I know I’m not alone in feeling like this. There are so many girls that I personally know who unknowingly or not, face the same battle. Wonderful, creative, clever women who are crippled with this inner fear of not being liked – so they end up holding back. They don’t show their real selves to the world, they hide their real opinions and worst of all – they deprive the world from experiencing what they have to offer, be it their art, their talent, their initiative in the workplace – whatever!
Honey – we are at midlife and if you haven’t worked it out by now, let me remind you that we are unique individuals and that there are ALWAYS going to be people who don’t like you, who don’t get you and who probably NEVER will.
And that’s okay!
There will be someone else that flicks their switch, but their dislike of you should have NO impact whatsoever on you doing what it is that you KNOW you should be doing. So pick up that paint brush, write that novel, investigate, innovate and create that project that keeps you awake at night and SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD!
Time to up your brave honey, and time to up MY brave too!! Let’s ROCK our midlife season REGARDLESS of whether we are “liked” or not.
Are you with me?
Here’s to Rocking Midlife!
PS: Did you know that there is an amazing Facebook group of midlife women from all over the world who will cheer you on your journey? The Fabulous Midlife Babes is free to join so apply HERE – we’d love to welcome you to the tribe!