After dealing with some very shitty lemons thrown my way recently, I have returned from my social media hiatus to reface the world and demand my margarita.
I mean really – where does it say that we have to accept every negative that comes our way with emotionless passivity? I’ve certainly been guilty of falling into the trap of saying “Ah well, there are people worse off than me so I’d best suck it up and get on with life” and it’s even worse when you have others dismiss your turmoil with “Ah well – it’s not brain cancer so what are you complaining about?”
And yes, there is SOME truth in that as we don’t want to become bogged in the mire of self-pity and inertia. Ultimately we CAN still find purpose, direction and dare I say – joy – even after crap happens to us. HOWEVER – before we do so, there are some steps that need to occur:
Acknowledgement that something crappy has happened to you and it SUCKS.
Tears / anger / grieving for what you have lost.
Time out to reconnect with what soothes your soul. For me, it was playing with art – something I have been “too busy” to do for the past 7 years.
Re-entering of the world ready to work out your “new normal” – understanding that there may be times when you need to revisit the first 3 steps.
Your lemon might be a huge one like cancer or death of a loved one – or it might be a job loss or some inexplicable illness that has changed your world even though you look fine on the outside…..
The magnitude of the lemon itself is not the issue though. If it has caused you grief / pain / distress – ESPECIALLY life altering distress – give yourself the gift of time in order to follow the steps above.
Then when you are ready – re-enter the world determined to create a “new normal” that allows you to live a purposeful and impacting life.
Anyone else been playing “dodge the lemon” over the past few weeks? I know that I am by no means alone and will be doing some live-streams and having conversations about how to move forward over the next few weeks in the free ROCKING MIDLIFE group. If you are a 40+ woman, come and join the conversation HERE.